I've been putting it off as long as possible, but the Christmas season has officially begun. First up, we have the story of Poole's 'health and safety Christmas tree', which is reported in several of the dailies. The Mail has the best picture.

The Mail also informs us that:
From a health and safety point of view, it is the perfect Christmas tree.
There are no sharp needles, no unwieldy branches and no chance of it falling over and hurting someone.
But according to residents who have to look at it, there's also no festive spirit in this Christmas tree.
According to Poole's town centre manager (that's a new one on me!) Richard Randall-Jones:
'People think you can just go into the woods, chop down a tree and put it up in the high street.
'But if it blows over and kills someone then somebody is liable for it. We have to have guy ropes and hoardings to stop it from falling over and hitting somebody.
'Last year the board said they and the public didn't like all the ropes and hoardings around the Christmas tree.
So I was tasked with finding a solution and we came up with the cone tree.' Read full story >>
LANGUAGE
Note the awful jargon 'I was tasked with ...'. What's wrong with 'I was given the task of ...'?
READ MORE•
Poole — the town with a Christmas tree that you can wipe your feet on (The Times)
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Christmas: Fake tree because of health and safety fears (Daily Express)
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Poole axes real Christmas tree 'for safer fake one because of health and safety' (Daily Telegraph)
COMMENTIt's political correctness gone mad.
Victor Meldrew will be turning in his grave.