The English Blog

Cartoon: Naked On A Plane

This cartoon by Schrank from The Independent relates to the tightening of airline security following the failed attempt to blow up an airliner over Detroit on Christmas Day. The alleged bomber, Abdul Mutallab, a 23-year-old Nigerian man, had taped explosive powder to his leg, which he attempted to detonate during the plane's final approach to Detroit airport.

The pilot says: "We've introduced the most up-to-date anti-terrorist measures". Behind him, we see a group of naked passengers rushing through the snow to get on the plane. I believe that's what they call a strip search.

Words in the News: Accomplice

MI5 is hunting for possible accomplices of the Detroit airline bomber according to the Daily Telegraph. Full story >>

VOCABULARY
Someone's accomplice is a person who helps them to commit a crime. • Detectives say they don't know if the shooter had an accomplice.

Newsweek's Top Headlines of 2009

Newsweek has a slideshow featuring twenty of the oddest, most amusing stories of the year. Here's a seasonal one:

Words in the News: Foil

The Sunday Telegraph leads on the London-educated Nigerian man charged with attempting to blow up a plane as it came in to land at Detroit airport in the US. Full story >>

VOCABULARY
If you foil someone's plan or attempt to do something, for example to commit a crime, you succeed in stopping them from doing what they want. • Investigators of the Santa Monica Police Department were able to foil the murder plot and ensure the safety of the intended victim.

Video: London Link To Failed Airline Bomber

A Nigerian man with suspected links to al Qaeda is being questioned after trying to blow up a Delta Airline plane in mid-air. Umar Abdul Mutallab had lived in London until last year. David Bowden reports.

Words in the News: Britishness

The Times says Gordon Brown's roadshow to promote Britishness has been an expensive flop. Full story >>

VOCABULARY
1. A Briton is a person who comes from Great Britain. • NATO said Thursday that two of its soldiers, a Canadian and a Briton, were killed in roadside blasts in volatile southern Afghanistan.
2. Britishness is a term referring to a sense of national identity of the British people, and common culture of the United Kingdom. • The whole concept of “Britishness” is now being called into question. Can you be British and Scottish at the same time? (The suffix -ness is added to adjectives to form nouns which often refer to a state or quality. For example, 'sadness' is the state of being sad and 'kindness' is the quality of being kind.)

Video: Senate Backs Obama Health Care Bill

The US Senate has approved President Obama's overhaul of health care. The bill is aimed at extending health coverage to 30 million uninsured Americans. Sky's US correspondent Robert Nisbet reports.

Words in the News: Hold-Up

The Mirror's headline is "The ho-ho-hold up"—referring to an armed Santa who robbed a bank in Tennessee, telling frightened customers "he had to pay his elves". Full story >>

VOCABUALARY
1. A hold-up is a situation in which someone is threatened with a weapon in order to make them hand over money or valuables. • Prison awaits a pair of Bay County teens who orchestrated a June gas station holdup in Bangor Township.
2. Ho ho is used in writing to represent the sound that people make when they laugh. 'Ho, ho, ho' is the traditional greeting used by Father Christmas (aka Santa Claus).

Video: Copenhagen—Success or Failure?

The non-binding agreement of the climate conference in Copenhagen continues to spark debate over whether it can give rise to meaningful change. Transcript here.

Cartoon: If Santa Claus Were British ...

This cartoon by Peter Brookes from The Times pokes fun at the average Briton's innate inablity to cope with a bit of snow. The result is that the whole country comes to a standstill. (See here and here.)

In the top frame, we see Santa Claus on his sleigh about to start delivering presents. The reindeer are ready to go. Santa holds out his hand. A few snowflakes are beginning to fall.

In the bottom frame, Santa has abandoned his sleigh and is walking off into the distance, a suitcase in each hand. A thought bubble contains the words "Bugger that for a game of soldiers!" This is something a person might say when they abandon an activity because it's too much trouble or too difficult. It is not a common expression. More usual alternatives would be "Stuff this!", "Blow this (for a lark!)", "Fuck this!" or just "Bugger this!" (WARNING: Learners are advised not use any of these expressions, as they will risk sounding ridiculous.)

VOCABULARY
'Bugger' is a rude word, though not quite as bad as 'fuck'. It can be a noun, verb or exclamation, and is used in a variety of colourful expressions (see The Urban Dictionary).

GRAMMAR
Note the use of 'were' (not 'was') in the second conditional sentence "If Santa were British." This is one of those grammar points which divide opinion. Read what renowned linguist David Crystal has to say about it.

MORE CARTOONS
Christian Adams (Daily Telegraph)
Paul Thomas (Daily Express)
Andy Davey (The Sun)

Video: Slow Going As Temperatures Fall Again

Millions of people across the UK face more disruption as temperatures plunge well below zero once again. More flights and trains have been hit but Eurostar has now cleared the backlog of passengers. Sky's Paul Harrison reports.

VOCABULARY
Grit is rock salt mined from the ground and crushed to form light brown granules. The salt lowers the melting point of the snow causing it to melt. The grit component improves the friction between a vehicle's tyres and the road. Local authorities use gritters to grit the roads. Grit is also provided in grit bins.

Words in the News: Stuck

The winter weather is the front page story for the Daily Mail, which reports that thousands will miss out on their Christmas presents because the snow has led to deliveries being cancelled across large parts of Britain. Full story >>

VOCABULARY
Stuck is the past tense and past participle of the verb to stick. If something is stuck in a particular position, it is fixed tightly in this position and unable to move. • We never made it to London and were stuck in Paris for three days waiting for the Eurostar to start running.

Cartoon: China's Flaming Christmas Pudding

Great seasonal cartoon by Peter Brookes from The Times. Chinese President Hu Jintao has just set light to a Christmas pudding, which he has liberally doused with brandy (the flaming Christmas pudding is a tradition in the UK). The icing on the pudding is in the shape of the continents, so it is clearly meant to represent the Earth. On top of the pudding is a sprig of holly. UK Climate Change Minister Ed Miliband (note the Union Jack paper hat) looks on in horror. Global warming? More like global incineration!

The cartoon is a metaphor for what is being seen by many commentators as China's irresponsible attitude during the climate change summit in Copenhagen. Ed Miliband himself blamed China yesterday for the poor progress made during the talks and accused it of hijacking the summit, claiming that Beijing "vetoed" moves to give legal force to the accord and blocked an agreement on global reductions in greenhouse emissions. Read more >>

Words in the News: Chaos

The Telegraph says heavy snow brought parts of Britain to a standstill as forecasters gave warning of further travel misery with up to four more inches to come. Full story >>

VOCABULARY
1. Chaos (pronounced kay-os) is a state of complete disorder and confusion. • Thousands had their Christmas holiday plans thrown into chaos yesterday when a travel group went into administration.
2. The headline plays on two meanings of the word bleak. If the situation is bleak, it is bad and seems unlikely to improve. If the weather is bleak, it is cold, dull, and unpleasant. There also seems to be a nod to the well-known Christmas carol "In the Bleak Midwinter".

TRAVEL CHAOS CARTOONS
Andy Davey (The Sun)
Christian Adams (Daily Telegraph)
Martin Rowson (The Guardian)

Audio: Copenhagen According To Dr Seuss

I heard Marcus Brigstocke's Dr Seuss-style take on events at the Copenhagen summit on The Now Show podcast and thought it was hilarious. Someone must have thought the same, because they've put it on YouTube.

TRANSCRIPT
The delegates came and the delegates sat
And they talked and they talked till their bums all went flat
Then a delegate said of the country he knew
"We must do something quick but just what should we do?"
So they sat again thinking and there they stayed seated
Sitting and thinking "the planet's been heated"
"I think" said a delegate there from Peru
"That we all must agree on some things we could do
Like reducing emissions at least CO2"
So they nodded and noted then vetoed and voted
And one of them stood up and suddenly quoted
"It's the science you see, that's the thing that must guide us
When the leaders all get here they're certain to chide us"
So they sat again thinking about what to think
Then decided to ponder what colour of ink
To use on the paper when they’d all agreed
To be selfless not greedy McGreedy McGreed
"But how do we choose just what colour to use?"
Said a delegate there who'd been having a snooze
"We need clear binding targets definitive action
We must all agree clearly without more distraction"
So they sat again thinking of targets for ink
But the ink in their thinking had started to stink
And they started to think that the ink was a kink
In the thinking about real things they should think
"If ze climate needs mending then zis is our chance"
Said the nuclear delegate sent there by France
"We need to agree on one thing to agree on
Something we all want a fixed guarantee on"
"Yes" said another who thought this made sense
Some value for carbon in dollars or pence
But the mention of money and thoughts of expense
Had stifled the progress and things became tense
The fella from China with a smile on his face
Said "Who put the carbon there in the first place?"
"Wasn't us" said the U.S then Europe did too
Then a silence descended and no words were spoken
Till a delegate stood up, voice nervous and broken
"Is there nothing upon which we all can decide?
Because on Wednesday my chicken laid eggs that were fried"
"We all like a sing song" said the bloke from Down Under
But then the great hall was all shouting and thunder
Policemen had entered and were wearing protesters
Who they'd beaten and flattened like bloodied sou'westers
The police had decided to downplay this crime
With prevention detention and beatings in rhyme
The Greenies who'd shouted and asked for a decision
Were now being battered with lethal precision
All sick of inaction and fed up of waiting
All tired of the endless debated placating
They'd risen up grating berating and hating
So the police had commenced the related abating
Ban Ki-moon put his head in another man's lap
And was last heard muttering something like "crap"
But the chap next to him said "It's more like it's poo"
So the great hall debated not what they should do
But how to decide between crap cack and poo
"It is poo" "It is cack" "It is crap" "We agree"
Which was written and labelled as document three
"I think if we all find one thing we agree on
Then maybe Brazil might be left with a tree on"
So they sat again thinking of trees and Brazil
And of glaciers which had retreated uphill
And they thought of the poor folks whose homes were in flood
But less of the protesters covered in blood
They pondered the species so nearly extinct
It's as if they all thought that these things might be linked
"We need a solution we need action please"
Said a lady who'd come from the sinking Maldives
The others all nodded and said it was fact
That the time must be now not to talk but to act
Then Obama arrived and said most rhetorical
"Action is action and not metaphorical"
"Wow" they all thought "he must mean arregorical [sic]"
"I love it when Barack goes all oratorical"
"But the problem I have is that Congress won’t pass it
"Bugger" said Ban Ki then "sorry" then "arse it"
Then Brown said "I've got it now how does this strike you?
It's simpler when voters already dislike you"
He suggested the EU should lead from the front
So The Mail and The Telegraph  called him something very unpleasant indeed
So the delegates stared at the text with red marks on
Ignoring the gales of laughter from Clarkson
No-one was satisfied nobody won
Except the morons convinced it was really the sun
And they blew it and wasted the greatest of chances
Instead they all frolicked in diplomat dances
And decided decisively right there and then
That the best way to solve it's to meet up again
And decide on a future that's greener and greater
Not with action right now but with something else later